What they don’t tell you…

What they don’t tell you when you go to work in the epicenter of a pandemic, is that when you come home you feel dirty.

What they don’t tell you, is that you’ll sit in the shower for two hours scrubbing your skin raw just to feel clean…for weeks after being home.

What they don’t tell you, is that “quarantining” for two weeks will NEVER seem long enough.

What they don’t tell you, is the overwhelming feeling of complete loneliness. While you were gone, everyone else’s life moved forward.

What they don’t tell you, is that the feeling of loneliness doesn’t go away. Family and friends ignoring your texts or phone calls to hangout because they are scared of you.

What they don’t tell you, is that there will be fights with your significant other because your emotions are at a breaking point from finally processing what you just went through and saw everyday and they could never understand.

What they don’t tell you, is that you will be walking on eggshells because people are afraid to bring it up (please don’t be) because they don’t want you to cry and you don’t want to bring it up in fear of making people uncomfortable.

What they don’t tell you, is that when you tell someone you went to NYC, they back up 6ft and look at you in disgust.

What they don’t tell you, is that the nightmares you will have keep you up all night and will last for what seems like forever.

What they don’t tell you, is that when you go back to your normal work, your anxiety is at an all time high and your body doesn’t know what to do with the built up, unused adrenaline.

What they don’t tell you, is that your heart will hurt when everyone around you has forgotten that COVID exists, while you know it’s still here…

But they also don’t tell you that being a COVID-19 Crisis Nurse will you teach you far more than just nursing skills.

They don’t tell you that you will see life differently.

They don’t tell you that it will forever change who you are as a person.

They don’t tell you that you will make new friends who are more often than not, more like family.

They don’t tell you that you will miss being there with your patients for weeks on end.

They don’t tell you that it makes you a kinder, softer person if that is even possible.

They don’t tell you that the relationships in your life will forever be changed.

They don’t tell you that you will love those around you harder than you ever have before.

They don’t tell you that you will appreciate life and little blessings now more than ever.

They don’t tell you that although this was the scariest thing you’ve ever done, it’s also the most beautiful and humbling thing you’ve ever done.

And no matter how many things they don’t tell you, you would go back and do it again in a heartbeat.